Why I quit drinking in my 20s
More about me
Hi! I’m Sarah and I’m a writer living in Los Angeles. I’ve written about relationships, work, pop culture, friendship, sex, wellness, but you might know me best as the girl who writes about sobriety.
I’m open about my struggles with blackout drinking and getting sober because I remember how isolated I felt when I was in the thick of it all. At 28, I was a high achieving perfectionist who looked “normal” on the outside: a good job, big circle of friends, and Brooklyn apartment. I knew my partying habits (blackout, excruciating hangover & shame, repeat) were toxic, but I was also terrified to give up alcohol. The chokehold that booze had on my social calendar kept me drinking long after it stopped serving me. I didn’t know anyone my age who was sober, and I didn’t want to be left out. I drank on dates, at parties, and over dinners. Who would I be without a martini in my hand?
On hungover mornings, I used to Google “sober celebrities” hoping to find someone – anyone – who didn’t drink and still had some semblance of a successful, happy life. These were the early days of Instagram and the sober curiosity movement was nowhere in sight; I felt like I was the only woman in her 20s who couldn’t get her drinking under control, and the shame was real.
I finally reached a point where my desperation overpowered my shame. I was desperate to stop blacking out, making choices I regretted, and waking up hating myself. I drank to feel confident, but alcohol was eroding my sense of self and preventing me from living the life I truly wanted. And I had to admit that one drink was never where it ended for me; I always wanted more. So on September 16, 2017, I decided to stop drinking and see what happened next.
At first I kept my sobriety a secret, even from my closest friends. But as the days and weeks turned into months, I worked up the confidence to open up about my toxic relationship with alcohol. Being sober felt like waking up in clean sheets every day, and the clarity it gave me was intoxicating. As I began living a more intentional life, I started to gain a deeper of understanding of who I had been and who I wanted to become.
Eventually, I started writing about it. I shared my story with outlets like The Cut, The New York Times, and Cup of Jo, and formed powerful connections with other sober women.
A few years later I wrote Drinking Games, a memoir in essays, which was published by St. Martin’s Press in January 2023. Drinking Games explores the role alcohol has in our formative years, and what it means to opt out of a culture completely enmeshed in drinking. You can order it here!
Questions? My inbox is always open.
Xx,
Sarah